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I was seeing this guy for about a week. We had a TON of fun, hung out almost every day, had some good sex. Then all of the sudden: nothing. No return phone calls…it’s like he vanished. What’s up? Was it me? Should I still try to call him?

Sad and Confused

Dear SAC (cute!),

Go directly to the bookstore and buy the book, “He’s just not that into you.” By Greg Behrends. It’s a genius book! And the title is the advice I give to you today SAC. He’s just not that into you! You see guys are a lot like gals (hard to believe, I know). They get really excited about a girl when they first meet them, hang out, have sex…and then realize they aren’t really feeling it anymore. It’s ok. It’s not you. Well, it kinda is. But it’s doubtful that it’s because you talked about marriage, or you smell funny (unless you did talk about marriage or smell funny. In that case, shame on you and go buy some deodorant). It’s most likely he just didn’t click with you. It’s much easier for a man to stop calling, then call the phone honestly and politely to let you know you won’t see each other again. Guys don’t like tears or questions. And if they place that phone call, they run the risk of getting one or both. Guys also don’t need closure like us chicks. But closure is overrated. I like to follow the 2 call rule. If you call twice (and leave a message), with no return phone call, the ball is in his court. NO MORE PHONE CALLS FROM YOU!!! You become a stalker after that, and then he REALLY won’t call you back. Just cut your losses and move on. Besides, if he doesn’t have the decency to return a phone call, is he really that great?

The last couple of guys that I’ve slept with have tried to have anal sex with me. They’ll pull out and “accidentally” try to go back in the wrong way. I’ve talked to a couple of my friends and they have the same experience. Why do guys like anal so much?

Sore Bum

Dear Sore,

Ah, the age old question. Like, why did the chicken cross the road? And, where do babies come from? Sore, the reason guys like anal is the same reason they like oral and vaginal: Because it feels good to them. In the past decade or so, it seems as if more and more hetero guys are vocal about liking the anal. It’s no longer a gay thing. I, personally, haven’t had the best experiences with it. But, I do have a few friends (one in particular) who enjoy it. The two most important things to remember are: plenty of lube, and YOU control the movement. It can be very enjoyable. The next time a guy misfires and goes in the wrong entrance, just tell him to knock politely and you might let him him.